Reflection on coming home

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post anticipating what reverse culture-shock I may experience upon returning to the US. Now that I have been back nearly a month, I can do a little review of what the experience has been like and what adventures lie ahead.

My experience of transitioning back to the US was not exactly what I expected. Getting out of the country was a little more rushed and stressful than I would have hoped (since I suddenly had to leave a week early), but that date change actually gave me plenty of time to relax and adjust back to the US before conducting three major back-to-back interviews. The majority of my reverse culture shock came from the interviews themselves: each interview covered about 36 hours including multiple meetings, tours, presentations, Q&A, and overnight stays (which is the typical process for higher ed positions). I don’t know if I was exhausted from the travel, cultural transition, the interview process, or just the speed of American life, but it was a very intense week.

Reaction to other things that I anticipated:
• Seeing friends and family = fantastic.
• Cooking = not relevant yet, since I have been staying with other people who cook.
• Driving = like riding a bike.
• Grocery shopping = anticlimactic.
• Healthy, fresh food = not as healthy and fresh as I remember.
• Starbucks/Peets = pretty awesome.
• TV = haven’t really watched anything other than streaming Netflix.
• Restaurants = great when I have an appetite.
• Haircut = unnecessary!! Turns out my hair just needed a good wash and blowdry.
• Laundry machines = mankind’s crowning achievement.
• No bugs = how on earth did I ever manage those bugs in Kenya?!
• Hot showers and hairdryers = don’t know if I can live without them again.
• Libraries and bookstores = inaccessible since I don’t yet have a permanent address or money.
• No mold = THANK GOD. I am also quite thankful for the absence of gecko poop.

Some things that surprised me:
• I had no problem getting back into the swing of things with driving, shopping, etc. True, it takes me a little longer to get through a Target run, but it’s been a bit of a guilty pleasure to find all those little things I did without for the year.
• Although technology may have advanced, I was probably dreadfully behind the times before I even left for Kenya, so I’m still pretty much in the same camp.
• I haven’t yet missed the hospitality/friendliness of Kenyans, probably for two reasons: 1) I am spending most of my time with family and very close friends, so they are already very loving and hospitable; 2) when you drive everywhere and always stick to your normal social circles, you never meet strangers on the street or have the opportunity to show extraordinary hospitality. Hmm.
• My stomach had significant difficulty in returning to American cuisine and getting over jet lag. Ironically I had no trouble whatsoever when I went to Kenya!
• The weather is gorgeous all over California, but it is SO DRY!! I’m constantly applying lotion and chapstick … I guess I should appreciate the lack of humidity though.

What probably remain the hardest things for me are the pace of life and trying to incorporate my “Kenyan self” back into my “American self.” As I mentioned with the interviews, Americans live at breakneck speed, and you either need to keep up or get out of the way. I’m a little nervous to start work in a few weeks, as I will really need to rev myself up. Additionally, it is challenging to bring back what I learned and who I became in Kenya as I develop a new life in the US.

It can be fairly easy to block out thoughts of Kenya; by focusing only on the present and future, the year fades like a dream, a distant memory, or a story about somebody else. During my interviews it was essential that I block it out so that I could focus on the task at hand, but every once in a while someone would ask about Kenya. Most of the time I would give a generic answer – “it was a great experience,” “I learned a lot,” etc. etc. But one time an interviewer dug deeper, and I began to explain what I really felt about cross-cultural respect, international aid and more, and I became very animated. I think she and I were both surprised by the passion and energy in my answer, and I realized it was because it was basically the first time that I had an opportunity to speak about these deep issues with someone face to face in the US.

A couple nights ago something similar happened. My mom and I were cooking dinner for the family: she was making a curry chicken and I offered to make my I’ve-been-told-they’re-pretty-darn-authentic Kenyan chapatti. She put on some African music but it really wasn’t anything like the music we listened to there, so I found my favorite Kenyan pop song online. As I listened, mixed, kneaded, rolled, twisted, flattened, and fried my soul was transported to the big hill in Ribe. I danced around the kitchen but was thrown out of my reverie when I began talking to my dad and brother – what were they suddenly doing in Kenya? It was a surreal experience to have pieces of who I was in Kenya mixed with pieces of who I am in the US. It made me so happy to bring some of that home, to eat chapatti with my parents, that I nearly cried.

So am I experiencing reverse culture shock? Do I miss Kenya? Let me answer those questions with questions of my own: How can I throw myself into the major life transition of moving cross country and starting a new job if my head is in Africa? Then again, how can I honor what I learned and who I became if I suppress those thoughts to move forward in my life?

Something cool

I am again stealing a link from my friend Brooke's blog because I like how she thinks.
This is a little "sound bite-y" but I think it's a good introduction to the ways in which young Christians are re-thinking what it means to apply our faith to social issues.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/video/face-american-evangelicalism-10744135

Both in US

Just a quick note to let everyone know that Chris is also back in the US now. We'll be in Irvine/St. Louis for the next couple weeks, then moving to Nor Cal the first week of July.

I'll post something longer and more reflective tomorrow! :-)

Update Letter #9

Sorry for the delay, but you can find our newsletter about May (and April... oops!) here.

Thanks so much for all your support. We couldn't have done this without you!

Stay tuned for a few more blog posts, perhaps on into our drive from the Midwest to California, and even beyond if our adventures merit.

A Most Splendid Day (Considering I’m here without my wife)

I think reading The Wind in the Willows has affected my speech, because I don’t think I’ve ever used the word splendid in my life.

Nevertheless, today makes up for some mildly frustrating past few days. You see, I think it is the height of the planting season, because I have had a tough time reconnecting with some skilled workers that I had waiting for this time. I recently received some funds donated for the school to wrap up what I can before leaving, and now I was having a hard time finding the men I had put on hold while we were waiting!

This morning, I was able to catch up with one of the guys I have been communicating with lately, and he had thankfully spoken with another that I still haven’t found. They had discussed what material was needed for a steel door for the library, and I was able to go to Kaloleni to purchase it. I also confirmed the dimensions of a “standard” wooden door, and was able to order three of them for the other rooms of the new school building. This lifts a huge weight off my mind, because hopefully they can begin making the steel door tomorrow and the wooden doors should arrive on Monday!

I pray that next week allows us to get these doors installed. I hope to help move books from the “store” (short for storage) to begin setting up the secure library, complete with a home for the computers that have so far had to be set-up and taken down every time to store in the head teacher’s locked office.

Meanwhile, here is a photo of the stairway after completing the floors, varnishing the handrail, and you can see the shadows of the “ventilated” half-walls that were added above the midway landing.

On the matatu back from Kaloleni, we happened to pick up one of the teachers, Mr. Ade also. He is about our age and has become a great friend; he helped me with the handrail and he even reads our blog. (Hi, Ade!)

So, it really made me smile when he made reference to one of the “Things [Lesley] Learned in Kenya” by pointing out that he was the 18th person in that matatu. Believe it or not, we picked up two more passengers before we alighted at Ribe (keep in mind that these are 13-passenger caravans with rows of bucket seats forming benches, so as you squeeze together, you likely sit on a ridge between seats – if you’re lucky enough to get to sit. By the time there are 18, or 20 apparently(!), you may get to crouch or hunch over attempting to “stand” just inside the sliding door. Oh, also these numbers don’t really include children; they crowd onto their parent’s and other people’s laps.)

Once home, Eunice, the mama who is cooking some meals for me (since the culture didn’t really support me, as a man, learning how to cook with the local tools and ingredients) …anyway, she offered to make some special sukuma wiki, but I needed to pick up the sukuma and other vegetables, and the shop was still closed before I went to Kaloleni. Thus, I returned much later than she imagined, and she had gone home. I somewhat desperately packed up the ingredients, along with a couple hotpots, and headed to her house. She wonderfully received me as though it was what I was supposed to do, but grabbed a few of her things and brought me back to Tito’s house for her to cook my dinner here! This got even better when she discovered I had ground beef in the "freezer" - it doesn't really freeze - and cooked it into the sukuma wiki.

That is when I had the opportunity to read more of The Wind in the Willows, and reflect on what a good day it was.